obsession

People told me i'm obsessed with what i'm doing. They told me i'm gonna lose a lot of friends that I've made all these time. The told me I've changed because of this. The told me there is no purpose in what I'm actually aiming for. They told me i'm doing it too much. They told me it was useless cause i'm not gonna continue it when i am old and all those muscle I've gained would turn to fats. They told me to settle less than what i actually wanted. They told me i could injured myself doing these. They told me to just jog and lose some fats i'm look better that way. Some even got tired of telling me stuff.

Well I'm gonna tell you. To me, this is actually a lifestyle. If i'm to lose friends because i want to be myself, so be it. If i were to lose friends because i couldn't give up my time for them as i need time for my training, so be it. There will be people that understand why i gave up my time, gave up everything i had just to work out. I'm the kinda guy that rather spend 1-3 hours in the gym just hanging out with the bros than to be out doing things that isn't meaningful at all. Yes I've changed. I am not that fat loser last time where everything else doesn't matter, where friends actually comes first before my own self. Fuck i actually hated the guy i used to be. To me, I don't simply just stop bodybuilding. Yes some might say that I'll have no time in the future and stuff like that . Screw that. Cause If i don't have time, I'll MAKE them. Injury, Yes bodybuilding is actually something dangerous. I mean who knows i might snap my back when i'm squatting 200kg dead lifting 180kg. But that's a chance i got to take in order to be who i want to be. To me i don't want to look like the others. They might say girls would prefer guys with just lean muscle but to me, i body build not for girls to see. Its actually for me, myself to be proud of myself. Ever since i started bodybuilding, I knew girls wouldn't like me cause i will look like a monster I will be huge.

So unless you really understand what i am actually going through, don't fuck with me.

bb

the only way of finding the limits of the possible is by going beyond them into the impossible

Growing up

Growing up. Everyone has to. This doesn't mean just growing old but growing up mentally too. Some matured earlier than others, some later. Different people has different views of being matured. Some view them has having sensible thinking, some view them when they start thinking about life. To me, being matured means knowing your goals in life, not regretting anything that you've done, stop whining about stuff when it doesn't go your way, stop blaming others for what for what you've did in your life. To me being matured early gives you the advantage in life. Cause by being matured you start thinking about what you want in life and actually go for it not caring what others say. This would also lead really big problem on friends that do not have a matured mindset as you . They will start thinking of you as being no lifers, stop hanging out with you because you've got your life now and they still depend on their friends for help . You'll start realizing that in this world, you got to trust no one but yourself. You got only yourself to blame for all the mistakes you've done. In this world, everyone wants to bring you down. There is no true friendship in this world. One may say he/she would be there when you need help, and bull shits like that. When you're dying who will be the one next to you ? Your family. That is what being matured in the mind means to me . What about you ?

wants

sweat, aches and pain thats what i want in life. i want to lift weights i want to train and compete for competitions . what about you?

rage

Who doesn't have them ? I'll be lying if i say i don't have them. In fact, i am filled with rage, anger and much more. I love all those rage, i love all those hating. The more i have the merrier i become cause it means i would be lifting heavier weights, doing the extra few miles just because of those hating, those betray. I don't complain about how stuff haven been good to me. I don't really care much about having a girlfriend either cause all these only bring a person down. All those emotional are useless. Sometimes i hate myself for even feeling sorry for another human being.

end of NYP

Its close to the end of my nyp period and its about time i start getting to know new friends. I told myself to change when i was entering poly to be a better person. Not to joke so much and stuff but i failed during the orientation. I show the weak side of me in the orientation during my year 1 period. I knew i gotta change but i don't know when . I want to be someone that people talk serious things to and not someone that people enjoys to be around. I know its sounds kinda childish and silly but i don't want to be the joker kinda guy. I guess i did it during the ending of my schooling period when i start getting serious with gym. That is when people noticed a changed in me. I guess people would say i'm not being myself but well who doesn't wear a mask in this real world right ?

2012

alright so its a start of a new year and man~ time really do fly. 3 years back i was actually wearing uniform with short hair in that retarded retarded school. Now ? i'm as awesome but still in a retarded school with long hair now :) . okay i do this every year so i guess i'm still gonna do it again :) Here's to all my friends that made 2011 possible for me. Alright this is gonna be long but well i don't think it would be as long as my previous years one since i didn't socialized much this year.

Okay Firstly its this group of people. My family . we had our fights we had our ups and downs. but through it all we did made it through 2011.

My Sisters: I know we had our fights. We scolded each other saying bad things about one another but still i do love you guys :)

Daddy and Mummy: Alright I've been kinda of a bad boy this year but hey I'm still learning . I promise to try not to argue back with you guys and listen to what you tell me :)

My Cousins: Jiaming, Charlene, Charmaine and Charzell I know we do not meet up regularly but when we do, things always felt the same, I've never felt that i have to fake whoever i w

as inside infront of you guys :) thanks .

Uncle David Aunty Florence: Thanks for all the gathering you've organised for us cousins to get together to meet up. Have a great year ahead! :)

Okay next is this 2 WEAKLING ! hehehes okay they are actually my gym buddys. Okay may sound gay but well who cares i'm gay thats for sure HAHAHAHAHAS okay sorry i not

Fred: Thanks for getting me started out with my first 21km manzxc ! then thats when i started going to the gym and well continued since then . Bro thanks for all the support for those reps.

For getting me focus when i was looking at girls in the gym HAHAHAHAHA thanks. Trust.

Elgin: ah gua HAHAHAHAHAHAHAS ok this guy always give me mind fuck him

one HAHAHAHAHAHAS. you did well my bro. Had really great time

forcing him to go down just for that 1 more rep and watch him suffer ! awesome shit. Trust.

Next is this guy. Awesome guy indeed. Any girls want him as a boyfriend ? He rides (very fast)

Ken: This guy has been through shits with me. Things i shouldn't say here cause it'll sounds gay. I started off thinking he was abit gangster like. I didn't really want to know him better. I mean he looks kinda gangster like and well :) Okay but well we started getting along well and relationship started to bloom HAHAHAHAHA _|_ no but serious. When i started knowing more about him he became a really really nice guy and he has his style. I don't know ah but this guy not bad ah really one . One of the few guys i really trust. Bro thanks.:)

Next is those 2 little ones standing in the center.

Carlyn and Warren: I have always let them down. Always not being able to meet them up cause of my gym and stuff but they never did fail to ask me out whenever possible. Warren is the one who i sometimes can talk to, telling him how i really feel and he would understand while carlyn well she came together with warren so i just had to accept. HAHAHAHA no okayyy she is a really nice friend to me too. Help me through my year 3, helping me print my notes and taking down notes for me too.

Next is this KIMMURA AFI !

Kim: Eh this guy always like disturb one ah but i know he is nice in the heart one. Have been out with him for supper and stuff . Did alot of stuff together too. He is also one of those friends I've been in my poly years that i know will never go to waste. One of those friendship that i know is worth making. thanks kim. :)

This group of people comes next.

CNG friends: Thanks mates for making my FYP such fun. CS all day Dota all night like that hahahahahahas.

Jeremyyeo: this guy suck cock one steady . HAHAHAHAS. Has always been in my lecture but never did i talk to him FYP made us know each other well and well he's a nice guy always asking me to go clubbing _|_ DOG ! hahahas

YJ: This one also one . Hahahahahahahas damn nice to disturb all hahahahahas too bad he's straight or else i think i'll ask him for GS :)

Sean: Ok this one forever call people pig one when he is also one HAHAHAHAHAS this guy awesome shit really he got same thinking like me siaaaa all girls all stubborn one . i like him the day he said that ! HAHAHAHAHAS !

Gladys: OI ! want me change ur computer display pic agn not ? HAHAHAHAHAS . She very on one. hahahahahahahas can talk crap with her whole day without feeling bored ! hehehehes!

Edmund: This guy okay after FYP nvr talk to him already but during FYP i always talk to him . Asking him about my project and also some useless stuff HAHAHAHAHAS. secret he watches hentai when he was 8 HAHAHAHAHAHAS

Gary: Hi try S my C in ur van ? HEHEHEHES i like disturbing him during my fyp period. IDK why but fun HAHAHAHAS ! Always talk to him about cars and cars and cars he really do know cars quite alot ! kinda cool dude.

The Rest: okay too tired already but well you guys made FYP period one of the coolest period i had in my poly years.

SokHuy: This guy has not been appearing for FYP for a long long period of time . Every since year 3 our friendship started to shake. Maybe its just be thinking too much. Well he always come and find me when he comes to school which i find it kinda cool cause at least i know he cherish our friendship. I just hope he cut down on his night life and so we could spend some time having our dinner/ lunch tgt with kimmura some time :)

This Clique of mine in my green tech class :) okay 2 I've already talked about left the last one

Alfred: hehes this guy is now in Australia i think enjoying ah hahahahas he is those kinda guy that doesn't care much i guess ? maybe 12 weeks not long enough for us to know each other but he is one of the people i can clique with too i guess cause he's cool as he drives a car ^^ hehehes

Okay the last one with picture is actually the guys from Bluewave Fitness. This includes everyone from the people working there : zul, victor etc etc.. everyone and also those guys training there: jackie, zel, daven etc etc...

Too many names man hehehehes all these guys made are the reason why i go back to the gym again and again. cause they motivate each other, tell each other not to give up and support each other when they needed help. Thanks brahhs and sissss ! :)

okay now too lazy find pictures already so its all words alright ? :)

0908: Okay this year i think we didn't had much time together, i didn't get to meet up sometimes cause of my gym and stuff. thanks :)

Durga: thanks for those wakeup msges you send to me during IAP period ! and also breakfast we had and thanks for allowing me to bully you whenever possible :)

Yuki: Hi. Well we started off talking quite well i guess it was me, i changed i started to stop socializing with friends thats why we stopped talking too . I want you to know that I've always liked you as a friend :)

TFK: this group like idk why alr siaaaaa come out lehhh wl ehhh so long nvr meet up all already.

Des, Youwang, Fubing: Hi this one my mahjong buddys HAHHAHAHAHAS ! okay we seldom meet up too but when we do, everyone will go home with a smiling face. I think thats how awesome a friendship can get. One of the longest friend i had . Since Primary school. I'm so proud we made it this far. :)

Weeping: Hi i know you will stalk my blog one so here's one just for you :)

We SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD meet up real soon cause i really really want to have you as a really good friend of mine cause you're cool alright ? :)

Okay the rest its either i am too tired and missed you out or you i'm just leaving your name out cause i don't like you :) happy new year . :) hehehes